TO TEACH OR NOT TO TEACH

I too had a dream, an ambition in my growing up years...to be a Teacher ....an English teacher. We all love our English teacher more than the other subject teachers, ain't it?! Although some of us might be strong in numbers or the world of experiments or analysing our past -most of us would be decent enough (or so we thought and hardly studied for it during the exams) in the languages, especially the Language given to us by the British monarchy .

My favourite game in my growing up years was the "teacher game". In a make believe sari and a stick in hand, I zealously recited rhymes and stories to my collection of dolls and my dad. I had colourful chalkpieces to write on the wooden doors of my Air force quarters. My dad was the best student in my class. He put up with all of my idiosyncrasies all through, always! I would beat him, give spelling tests and homework !

English teacher is someone who is well dressed and speaks politely and never punishes (mostly) all in all loved by every student. This is my understanding since my school days. Just recently read about an English teacher in a Government school near Chennai, who was loved so much by his students that they along with the parents refused to let him go on a transfer, social media was high on it. As I wanted to be an impactful teacher I decided to pursue my degree in English literature, another impetus being, introduction to good literary stuff. I enjoyed reading the books in the prescribed  syllabus...Shakespeare, Dante, Bernard Shaw, Milton, Hemingway and their ilk. Poetry was not my strong point, I fell in love with the Drama paper. Shakespeare's "Comedy of Errors", Arthur Miller's "The death of a salesman" Oscar Wilde's "The importance of being Earnest", Tennesse William's "The glass menagerie", so many movies have been inspired by these and when I recognise the sequence in a movie that mirrors these books I am tickled!

Never had the good fortune of studying under an inspiring special teacher but the ambition stayed on. I remember being mesmerised by my English Professor during my degree correspondence classes. (Pity that I couldn't join a regular college as I had landed a job in Railways at a young age). What diction and a baritone voice. He made even the dry subjects interesting. I prided as he always picked me up from the crowd to read out passages aloud to the class...I remember I had difficulty in pronouncing "ecclesiastical" and he smiled at me (ooo I melted!) and corrected me. I can understand why students fall in love with their professors especially the English teaching folks who sweep you off your feet mouthing Shakespeare and Wilde!! Hah...I am digressing again ...pardon my wavering mind.

With great fortitude, I took up the task of tutoring the neighbourhood kids alongside a Kendriya Vidyalaya mathematics teacher (he was the Teacher and I his assistant).I put my heart and soul in imbibing knowledge to the young minds. I was punctual, prepared notes and was gentle with the students. They never took me seriously and played pranks on me and the main teacher started taking tuitions elsewhere as well, leaving these students under my capable tutelege. I was distressed to see the mark sheets, that almost all had failed to secure pass marks. I had even managed to get a LKG kid to fail in her examinations. Was that even possible? Can they detain a young kid?

Not ready to accept my incapacity, I  joined as a teacher in a nearby school. My neighbour who worked there, took pity on me, as I was bored waiting for my call letter from the Railways. I was asked to come prepared with a "Rhyme" for the kindergarten, as the principal wanted to test my teaching skills. Racking my brains, I selected a simple rhyme that would be easy to enact. Armed with dancing moves (Tu cheez badi hai mast was the top of the chart in those days!) and jumping tricks I addressed my class of tiny tots, who were measuring me with eyes wide with bewilderment. I felt trapped like a zoo animal. They waited to see rabbits fly out off my bag.

As the cue for action came from the principal I was on, guns blazing. Hickory Dickory Dock (I was doing the Akshay kumar hand movements) and then mayhem ensued. I was perplexed at the cries and shrieks  of  "miss he is pushing me " " miss she's biting her" "miss I want my mommy".

Full pandemonium and I was sweating and swearing. With kids pulling my dress and climbing on to me, I looked at the Principal with a silent cry for help, who came to the conclusion that tiny tots were a burden on me (I still am incapable of handling kids). Not wanting to lose me,she decided to give me a chance with the older kids.
I was the class teacher for grade 2 students, who were better behaved .They were showering so much love on me. I revelled in their adulation. I was famous within a day and the principal called me over and mildly chastised me to refrain from using "yeah"instead of "yes" as the whole school was chanting "yeah" fervently (this was in 1995, undiluted English (British) was in and Whatsapp language was alien and unheard of) I gave a grin and answered "yeah"and left the room.
The third day dawned fresh and I reached the school in a yellow organza sari. Young girls love to
compliment their teachers on their saris! School was a breeze till noon. My energy waned by the time the sun was overhead, continuous classes and corrections with not a free class. Had to handle the brats of grade 6 as their teacher had an emergency. The kids were so tall, I felt like a Lilliput! My zeal and enthusiasm reached the nadir, exhaustion kicked in, unable to cope up with the Herculean task of continuous standing on my feet, hollering at the kids. I, a frail woman (many eons ago) fainted in class, mid sentence and was sent home in a Rickshaw. What a bathetic conclusion!

I sent my resignation through a neighbour and was pleasantly surprised as the principal requested me to come as a part time teacher at least, such was my effect! Realisation struck that I was not cut out for TEACHING and it was not my calling. And not wanting to risk the future generations called it Quits!! I should have realised this when I narrowly missed being born on Teacher's Day!

Salute to the teachers who continue to inspire and mould young minds!!!

P.S. The unrequited dream still affects me and I don the teacher's robe at times with the spouse. He calls me "question paper"!!