SCAR IN MY HEART


Ever wondered why when u reminisce your past memories ,sometimes you can see yourself clearly, your expressions your attire etc as if you are a third person watching the scene unfold....Am I making sense ?? or is it just me ?? I tried asking about it to my best half but he rolled his eyes and told ...keep your mental illness to yourself don't try to inflict it on me!

 One particular such scene on my mind and I feel it's slightly blurring as the days fly, the first time i saw my first born. I can see myself wearing a hospital gown, with 2 pigtails braided haphazard, being wheeled on a chair from the labor room to the NICU,  I can see my mom and hubby looking at me with a pained smile... I give them a bright smile beaming with love for my son. The doctor asks me if I can stand up, I am ready to run I say and take a look at my son ....my happiness, on seeing him lying on the incubator with wires attached to him ....a beautiful face with eyes closed. The doctor tries to tell me the complications in him and I just look at her and say ....this is my son I refuse to see the faults in him. Doctor pats my shoulder ...you are a brave mother and lets me caress my son. I gently touch his fingers and he opens his eyes, I am so thrilled and tell my son....amma ...this is your amma....

 17 years have flown since and I refuse to move on from this memory which is the only thing that connects to my son ....a son who will look  the same whenever I think of him ...

Comments

  1. slateMay 15, 2018 at 4:29 AM

    Sending you hugs and love.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anuradha SayeenathanJune 20, 2018 at 12:09 PM

    Hats off to ur courage!
    Wish I were beside you when you were writing this!
    Time actually heals!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sangeetha.July 3, 2018 at 9:34 PM

    Thank you! Some bruises never heal .

    ReplyDelete
  4. UmaAugust 7, 2018 at 10:54 PM

    No words to say dear

    ReplyDelete

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